5 Things on my Not-To-Do List



 I quietly thought to myself, “She could be outside drinking a cold beer and gardening instead of ironing.”

Anyone who is achieving at an elevated level be it in their career, business, sports, education or art, must say no to many things. Time is limited.

Whenever we say yes to one thing, we are saying no to something else. It is necessary to recognize what we are saying no to because that’s what gives us the ability to say yes to the things that really matter.  I’ve recently read a few articles that tell me not to get so wrapped up in controlling everything in my life.  However, as a mom, a wife, and business owner, I do have to have some supervision of my time and my schedule. If I were a single woman with no kids, this blog post would be totally different.

Today, I decided to share one of my short lists. These are a few things I frequently say no to in my life.


1. No T.V.

We took a serious look at our cable bill a few years ago.  We noticed that we were paying $6,600.00 in the last five years for cable television. What?! That is ludicrous!  We could’ve taken that amount of money and done some kick-ass traveling!  I cannot believe that is the amount we had paid to turn on the T.V. and sit our asses down to be entertained like zombies.  Plus was there really a need to have 200 freaking channels?

Aside from watching the occasionally recorded episode of Anthony Bourdain – No Reservations, I would rarely sit down in front of the TV.  For whatever reason, TV is just not that entertaining to me. I feel my life is wasting away when I sit on the couch and ‘watch’ …   I know even in my downtime, I have this creative feeling like I should be doing something that’s at least semi-constructive. This is how I am wired.  This is how I operate.  As it may be, there could be a loose wire or glitch in my system where I just don’t know how to relax by ‘watching’ TV.  Maybe my life would be more balanced if I decided to consume every episode of Game of Thrones or football games. Since we are family and there are others in our household who do like to watch TV, we’ve come to a glorious agreement.  We shall now have Hulu and NetFlix in our household.  This will satisfy everyone’s glitches in their systems.  For me, until there are more hours in a day or something changes in me, I’ll keep reading, writing, going for runs,drinking a cold IPA while gardening or hanging out with my little family and creating new projects in my spare time — Yup, all without the service of television.

2. No Ironing

The last time I used an iron, it was used as a door-stop.  Yeah, I needed something heavy to keep an old door from closing.  Also, the last time I used an iron, I burnt the shirt.  I left a brown burned triangle on the back of my hubby’s white button down.  I remember seeing my grandmother iron clothes when I was young.  I quietly thought to myself, “She could be outside drinking a cold beer and gardening instead of ironing.”  And you know what?  I still feel the same way forty years later. Maybe if it didn’t take 1/2 an hour to iron a blouse and pair of pants, I would do it more often.  Instead, we buy clothes that are ‘wrinkle-free’ or we get our clothes out of the dryer rather quickly…. Unless it’s just bath towels, clothes get out of the dryer pretty fast around here.

3.  No Politics

As a Communications major in college, I recall having to write several theses on the politics, media, and sensationalism.  I’m pretty sure the average American is not truly aware of how this media frenzy and political circus are connected every four years.  Seriously, it is not that interesting to me. I know some of you are thinking I have lost my mind or that I don’t care about our country’s future. It is not interesting to me because at the end of the day it is still bigger government and entitlement services. It is still about wars with other countries.  It is still paying more taxes to the IRS. One reason I try not to get caught up this political circus is because it doesn’t matter if you’re Republican or Democrat, the results are always the same: Each party promises to take care of us, make sure we have more jobs, better education care, etc. The bottom-line, it doesn’t matter who is in the White House. What matters is what’s happening in my house.  I am responsible for my income, my job, my education. The government is not responsible for these things.   If I need more money, I go make some more. I have had up to three jobs at one time.  If I want education, it is up to me to seek it and figure out a way to pay for it with scholarships, or work three jobs to pay for my college education.  I am a realist. I don’t do politics. I see greater returns on my investments when I am building my business rather than trying to figure out who is the lesser of two evils. Politics sucks. I am happy to let others debate and rant on who they think is going to be the next leader of this awesome country…  I will spend my time and energy where it matters —creating value in the marketplace and focusing on revenue streams from commercial real estate investments and building my businesses.

4.  No Mask

If I had to pick my favorite from this ‘not-to-do” on my list, it would be this one!  You can’t go your whole life trying to please everyone else.  You can’t go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think.  Whether it’s your car, your hair, your clothes, what you have to say, how you feel, what you believe, what you don’t believe, what you have,  or what you don’t have…  You can never let the judgment of others stop you from being YOU.  Because if you do, you’re no longer YOU.  I believe at the end of the day, nobody is really thinking about you anyway…they are too wrapped up in their own crappy little lives and worried about what time America’s Got Talent comes on T.V.   Remember, life is too damn short to be living someone else’s dream.  One of my mentors told me, “We are all born with factory-installed gifts at birth.”  [Tweet theme=”tweet-box-shadow”]What happens to our gifts as we grow older? Why aren’t we more focused on the things that come naturally to us? [/Tweet] Why do we allow our family or friends who have dysfunctional ‘small-thinking’ influence give us advice for our lives?  Wear no mask. Be yourself. Be brave.

5.  No Toxic People

Whether it is a family member, a friend, or an acquaintance, when you delete toxic people from your environment it becomes a lot easier to breathe. Yes, detach from the drama! Move on without them. If you know someone who insists on destructively dictating your emotional atmosphere, then be clear: they are toxic.  If you are experiencing hardship and anguish  because of their attitude, and your compassion, patience, and general consideration doesn’t seem to help them, and they don’t seem to care one bit, then ask yourself, “Do I need this shitty person in my life?” Hell no!  Letting go of toxic people doesn’t mean you despise them, or that you wish them harm; it simply means you care way more about YOUR OWN well-being. Do not pretend their toxic behavior is acceptable. If you’re not careful, toxic people can use their moody conduct to get advantageous treatment, because… well… it just seems easier to quiet them down than to listen to their stupid pie-hole!  Don’t be fooled.  Short-term ease equals long-term pain for YOU in a situation like this.  Toxic people don’t change if they are being rewarded for not changing.  Decide this minute not to be influenced by their behavior.  Stop tiptoeing around them or making special pardons for their continued aggressiveness… O r you will be their lovely doormat where they will continue to wipe their muddy shoes on.

[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-shadow”]Don’t let toxic people rent space in your LIFE. Raise the rent and get them the hell out of there![/Tweet]


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If you’re new to this blog, I highly recommend starting with these posts:

What Changed The Way You Think?

Ten Lessons Learned From A Life Full of Changes

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