The greatest escape for me today… is taking 15-minutes to write this blog post about how ‘mom guilt is a bitch‘. Some days I feel like I’m in first gear zooming down the highway driving a Bugatti Veyron. But this is only in my dreams…
Yeah right, a Bugatti Veron costs around 1.7 million dollars. However, today... I feel like I am in first gear zooming down a pot-hole street driving a dented up Dodge Caravan with wooden side panels. You get the picture. I am having ONE of those days.
Then it occurred to me… I feel guilty for having a business, going to meetings, working with our team and I feel guilty for not being able to balance it all. This sucks. Why? Because I know stay-at-home moms who don’t work [but they do work… a lot staying home with kids is a hard job… especially single moms – I’ve been there – – done that] The moms I am friends with are amazing! They make special after school snacks for their kids or they make homemade tantalizing gourmet meals. Now, I am not putting down the stay-at-home mom choice. I have been that woman. I stayed home the first 18-months with my last child. I started to have low self-esteem, and my brain was turning to oatmeal mush every time Disney’s Pal Patrol came on…
Mom Guilt is a bitch. No matter what I do I feel guilty. Not like guilty of a crime. Just guilty for not being the mom I should be. [but this is just in my head – I have learned that I am an amazing mom.]
[this is how my brain works when I feel guilty for working late on a project]
So, next time you see me at a business function receiving recognition for bringing value to my community or you see me at a school PTA meeting… remember, “She’s feeling guilty…”
Recently, I was asked, “How do you do it all?!”
The answer is simple: I don’t do it all. I simply exist and carry on the roles I’ve created for myself.
I am a mom of two boys, wife, an entrepreneur, writer, blogger, and Co-Founder & partner of The Zapata Group [BUSINESS + BRANDING + COMMUNICATIONS] company. I am also a freelance writer at LENY [Latinas En New York] and I am the founder, social media manager, and blogger-in-chief here at The Bitchy Business Briefs. In my ‘free time’ I am the go-to-person in my community focusing on creative essential tools and fundraising event cultivation for non-profit organizations.
Oh, and most importantly, I am on Team Zapata here at home… we all pitch in to make sure this household runs as smoothly as possible!
So, why would allow myself to feel guilty when doing any and all the performances or actions I take?
If I’m in a business meeting… I’m missing my 8-year old son’s school project…
If I’m taking my son to swim lessons… then I am missing the work to wrap up a deadline…
If I go running more than 2-miles… then I am missing time-sensitive business actions.
If I decide to cook dinner for my family… then I am tempted to be on my social media [because it is part of my work]…
Oh, and here is the best one! If I go get a mani-pedi… I am really feeling guilty because it seems like I am wasting my time. I don’t know why, but I am just wired this way.
I’ve shared these thoughts with several of my girlfriends who are also working moms. And you know what? They are also guilty feeling moms yet they function with a what-ever-it-takes attitude. These are badassery moms! They juggle all kinds of balls in the air [from kid’s soccer practice to managing their professional careers… And an occasional mom’s night out.]
NO one lives a balanced life.
I laughed when I saw an on-line support group for moms who work and feel guilty. Why would I laugh at this? Well, this is The Bitchy Business Briefs – – I thought to myself, “If you have time to attend a mom support group because you feel guilty… maybe you need to grab your own ass and turn yourself around and deal with life…”
As a busy, businesswoman with a family, I have learned that mom guilt is a bitch… no matter what I do. It’s just part of my DNA. I love my work. I love my two boys and my hubby. I am very fortunate that I married an awesome man who always reminds me to focus on what makes me happy and stay productive.
My family knows that in this world moms do work.
Humans are supposed to be whole, happy, creative and loved. One thing I know for sure, life is not like a box of chocolates… [Remember the movie Forrest Gump?] Life is like a Chex Party Mix Bowl!
My best advice is listen to your inner wisdom. Listen to your gut. I share this with you because we are all trying to do better and become the best person we can become. I have grown to accept the mom guilt is a bitch. And I have mastered this guilt. It really means that I am living and I am growing. I am in process. Process is messy.
Maybe next week, I will change my mind and say that this mom guilt is no longer acceptable… I don’t know. What I do know is that I must continue to tune out my inner-critic. You know that snarky inner-critical self-talk… when you compare yourself to other moms, other women. Don’t do this! There is only one me. There is only one YOU. How amazing is that?! Out of all the sperms in the world… billions and billions of sperms… YOUR were conceived and you are unique. Keep shining… and yes, mom guilt is a bitch ~
Did you like this post? If you did, sign up for new blog posts. I promise you will not get bombarded to buy anything.
I simply like writing from my experiences on BUSINESS. LIFE LESSONS. SMARTY ASS QUOTES. And you’ll find some COCKTAILS occasional INTERVIEWS with INFLUENCERS!
Where do I start?
If you’re new to this blog, I highly recommend starting with these posts: